15th May, 2005
Sunday, 2 am


I woke up, my breaths were shallow, my heart was beating so fast it was the only sound i could hear.

i had a dream.. that in seconds was about to come true .. but at that moment i had no idea

i stayed up in bed for about an hour .. shifting and rolling .. i couldn't get back to sleep.

so i get up and sat on my desk , turned on my computer and sat there waiting for it to start.
i signed on my msn .. a couple of my friends were online

i wasnt in the mood to chat .. and i knew i wasnt supposed to be up this late .. plus i have school tomorrow ..

i just sat there .. staring at the monitor .. i was thinking of the dream i had .. i smiled to myself
my eyes were tired yet my mind refused to give in .. so i closed my eyes to rest them for a minute.

*msn msg alert*

i open my eyes to see the little window that just appeared on the bottom right corner of my desktop.


3ali : what are you doing up so late ?


me: just chatting with my friends ...


3ali: this LATE


me: ya3ny why is it OK for you to be staying up this late w ana la2 ??


3ali: i'm a guy :P


me: laaa walla


3ali: loool


me: shtabee ??


3ali: walashay :D


me: Okay


*** Silence for a couple of minutes ***

3ali: Curls ??


me: yea !!


3ali: i wanna ask you something personal !


me: sure, Go ahead.


3ali: if you dont wanna answer , thats fine !


me: umm gool shnoo ?


3ali: Who is ur crush ??


i was surprised !! Hell No i was SHOCKED
my mind suddenly felt heavy, Each word invaded my brain and i couldnt think anymore.. something inside me was urging me to tell him 'Curls this ur chance , just tell him how much you're in love with him' but something else held me back 'Why is he asking me this?? does he know something??'

me: Who told inna i have a crush ??!!

3ali: everyone does

me: well 7ata lo i do , why would i tell you ?

3ali: come on .. tell mee.. i'll tell you who i had a crush on!

OK that's something i really want to know .. but would that mean that i'm willing to put myself in a compromising situation !!

me: mabee ..

3ali: Allah y5aleech :(

I thought about it , and i thought about it more .. more ... and some more
maybe i should tell him !!

me: OK

3ali: :D

me: ....

3ali: YALLA

me: remember in malaysia .. when ur sister read my diaries ??

3ali: Yea i doo

me: Do you know what she read ??

3ali: Nooo ... what does that have to do with this ??? :S

me : weell , she read inna i had a crush on YOU

i pushed the enter button then i stood up .. and got away from my computer ... i had no idea what was the consequences of me telling my cousin, my very close cousin, the one i see every week in my family's get-togethers .. that i actually had a crush on him ...

i was sweating even though my room was freezing .. my heart was beating faster than it ever did .. and i felt this blinding pain in my forehead .. what have i done !!

to defend myself .. i used the word HAD to indicate the PAST .. which means that i have only told him that i had once liked him .. that doesn't necessarily mean that i like him NOW .. even though I'm practically in love with him.

i slowly stepped Back to my computer ...

3ali: OH MY GOD !!!!!!

3ali: mn 9ijech ??

3ali: Since Malaysia ???

3ali: that was like what ... 3 years agoo !!

me: SHUT UP ( i didnt wanna hear anymore ... yuba 3erafna ur surprised!! w obviously u dnt feel the same way.. i almost cried ... laish geltla .. shloan a6el ib wayha ba3ad kel hatha)

3ali: Thats when I had a crush on YOU

My eyes grew wide, my heart skipped several beats, and i forgot to breath.

3ali: Dont you remember?? .. i used to follow you everywhere you went ?? i stole glances at you when you were sitting with the girls ?? God i did some stupid stuff.

me: nooo i dont remember .. ( i was still shocked)

we chatted for an hour .. he told me all bout that crush he HAD on me .. and vice versa

i went back to bed that night for sure .. but sleep didn't find it's way back to me.



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6 comments:

    Cuteandcuddly said...

    cute :)
    and love the songs !!!!!!!!!
    i want to have a crush :(
    me and y friend where talking about it today :(
    how not one of us has a crush :(
    losers i know !!!

  1. ... on Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 3:39:00 PM GMT+1  
  2. Anonymous said...

    YAAAY!!! a5eeran u posted plzz dnt stop!!

  3. ... on Thursday, April 30, 2009 at 9:08:00 PM GMT+1  
  4. Daddy's Girl said...

    Ooooooh how cuteeee

    i have tears in my eyes masha2 allah 3leekom la ilaha illa allah

    allah yekhaleekom 7g b3th insha2 alah


    how sweeeeet :D

    welle leading a campaign against u, hathe me7tara minich kilish betmoooot

    6erdeha min ur life for ever ok?!

  5. ... on Saturday, May 2, 2009 at 8:10:00 AM GMT+1  
  6. Daddy's Girl said...

    Ooooooh how cuteeee

    i have tears in my eyes masha2 allah 3leekom la ilaha illa allah

    allah yekhaleekom 7g b3th insha2 alah


    how sweeeeet :D

    welle leading a campaign against u, hathe me7tara minich kilish betmoooot

    6erdeha min ur life for ever ok?!

  7. ... on Saturday, May 2, 2009 at 8:10:00 AM GMT+1  
  8. Curly Curls said...

    Cute N Cuddly: thaanx.. A shakoo losers u'll have it crush in the right time ;)

    Anonymous: yeeaaa I posted :P bas I can't promise ina I will post any time soon ... Coz after all it is exams season :( I'll try my best though Hun :)

    Daddy's girl: awww thaaaanx Hun .. W elmoshkela bout this ex-friend .. She's studying with me .. So I can't get away from her ... And wats worse is that I have to work with her in some labs .... Sooo u get the picture !??!?

  9. ... on Sunday, May 3, 2009 at 2:11:00 PM GMT+1  
  10. atoona said...

    awwwww.. that's soo cuteee ;>

    mashallah 3 years and neither of u guys knew.. hehe madre lesh 7asait it's like a movie ;p

    Allah ytamem 3aleekum inshallah

    n goodluck in ur exams ;)

  11. ... on Monday, May 4, 2009 at 12:51:00 AM GMT+1