You're alone, You're thinking what brought you here, You're wondering is IT worth leaving your family and living in the middle of nowhere ??!

where you spend most of your nights alone, switching the channels of your TV hoping something good is on, or shifting in bed at night after you saw that horror movie and you cant sleep, or maybe just a bad dream that woke you up in the midst of the creepy night?

Do you feel IT is worth it, when you get out of Uni after a long day and you get back to an empty apartment where you dont even have something decent to eat, the fridge is empty and you end up eating a pot of yogurt while facing your damn TV.

Is IT worth it, when at the weekend you find yourself roaming the streets alone, not knowing where to go or what to do.

It's frustraing I tell you, living here in the middle of nowhere, the only rock that i have to lean on , the only shoulder that i have to cry on, the only arms that i have to hold me at night .. is HIM .. but sometimes He's not there, sometimes He's just not available, sometimes He's away ... and that's when i crash, that's when the ghosts haunt me at night, thats when life seems to get harder and the universe seems to get heavier.

I'm sick, my whole body aches, my throat is sore and my head is killing me... i need my mum, i need to lay my head on her chest and feel safe and good, i need her to stroke my hair so i could feel better, i need her to make me a glass of hot milk and honey to soothe my throat. i want her to come check at me while i'm sleeping at night just to make sure i'm ok, i want her to kiss my head when i'm asleep ... coz just right then the whole world seems to open up infront of me and i wouldn't feel so bad.

There's something about Moms that no one can ever replace, no matter how hard they try no matter what they do ... my mum just do it BEST.

Mummy i miss you :( , life here in the middle of nowhere SUX

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